white or dark meat?

turkey variety pack

    It was american thanksgiving last thursday and  canadians, despite not wanting anything to do with stuff that's american, were side by side with them pigging out at the feeding trough. Several restaurants in town offered special dinners, giving the hungry gringos a variety to choose from. And variety there was.... of course they all featured turkey, but that was about all they had in common. One beach-side restaurant gave their turkey dinner a mexican flavor with a turkey stuffed with menudo dressing and rice, beans and tortillas. Another, a gringo establishment, offerd a traditional turkey feast with the added feature of the aroma of shit permeating everything from the still bubbling sewer. Everyones favorite taco joint offered turkey and cranberry tacos, and along with the usual salsas and toppings, mashed potatoes were added. The most popular location, another gringo operated place, had the traditional turkey dinner served prison style. (turn key dinner?) People were marched in, sat down, and served dinner. At the sound of a whistle they all got up and were marched out, so the next group could repeat the process. Dinner reviews were about the same at all locations: the proportions were too small, the prices were way too high and the quality of the food being so-so.  

town spared

   An unfortunate fire the other night destroyed the palapa roof of a local bar. Despite the destruction of the roof on the 2nd floor, this was a lucky location to have this kind of calamity. The structures to either side have concrete roofs (not often seen on beachfront structures), thus not giving the fire the fuel to spread. A fire of this nature at almost any other location would have spread from one palapa roof to another wiping out a good stretch of beachfront structures. We guess a good moral to this incident is don't live in thatched houses in a place where there is no fire department.

is everybody happy?

    With the surging population of gringos, a new round of bitching and whining has begun. Many folks are outraged that there are roaming crocs in the ocean and on the beach, and want something done about it.... the answer is simple; stop filling their habitat with shitty sewer water and maybe they will stay home. As for the people bitching about being sued by their Mexican employees.... who's fault is it? After all, we invaded the area spreading our gringo ways ; driving our cars everywhere (sometimes barely more than a car length) has inspired a lot of the mexican population to do the same, especially since so many dumb shit gringos are paying them far more that the going rate so they can afford cars. What's more gringo than not taking responsibility for your own actions? And suing someone else to take the fall is gringo as apple pie. Also inspiring the mexicans to do the same. To wit:

     After years of cheaply exploiting local folks a gringa is sued for: no apparent good reason, or injury, or severance or some other reason to be named later. 'American sue everyone in site' philosophy is finally rubbing off on the locals . As usual, the person is completely blameless in their own eyes, due to what we would guess is their superiority. An amount is paid that essentially ups the workers pay in the long run to the equivelant of ... well it's a secret you know so don't mention it, although likely around 5 bucks an hour. Since it's always about money (aka budget constraints/cheapness), a payment is made rather than a fight for justice (the great unwinable), which of course negates any claim to a moral high road. It also sets up a potential wave of suits because as Pedro said 'if they just throw money at you, you may as well get as much as possible.' Gringoas will now be carrying waivers. Any mexican that they even talk to in passing will be required to sign first. Suddenly years of "friendship" will need a signature ('ummm, its to prove how much "we" care about our friendship.') The upside is a potential healthier gringo population as they may now actually get up off their asses and sweep a floor, as apposed to just lifting their feet.

full circe

    After a few months of looting and pillaging the local singles community the circe has finally departed to parts north. Gone, but not forgotten, as her maniacal tequila infested rants have become part of the local lore. The behaviour is now an excuse used by others. "Well im not as bad as...." is coming into regular usage. Numerous local folks are still scratching their heads in amazement at the temerity of the statements made. Most people soon realized that it was not their job (nor within their finances) to support the lunacy despite the claims to the contrary. Probably using the phrase 'may the bridges i burn light my way' the local singles were driven into hiding. It wasn't until it was discovered that other communities had desperate singles with money to burn and booze to swill as well, that the fear started to subside. "Thank god for Melaque." one friend of an stricken adorer said after seeing the gaping chest wound on his buddy. Like frightened mice, the local singles are only now slowly creeping out of their hide outs, praying that circe has indeed departed, and wondering if it is safe to bring out their booze again. And yet strangely they are still in love with her. Clearly up for a pathetic character of the year award (both the circe and her followers), although there is still 6 weeks left and we've learned never to underestimate the amount of whack jobs that come through this town.(see following story) Unfortunately some local singles have been having recurring nightmares and, as usual, local health authorities are at a loss as to what to do about it. A self help group is in the works. "Hello, my name is dave and i've had a circe experience..." may well be a recurring phrase in the months to come. On the other hand we are going to miss her, you just can't buy that kind of entertainment. Well actually we guess you can, we can't.

the old wild woman and the sea

    Apparently the wild woman of lamanz (see story in september 3 issue) has re-hooked the great white marlin, and is dragging it back to shore. What will be left no one knows. Friends and aquaintances are shaking their heads in disbelief, numerous land lords are removing their for rent signs and the local canuck bar has hired security. We anxiously await further silly developments in what is becoming another potential pathetic character of the year winner.