With the need for a view and ocean view lots being so expensive, one new resident has had to settle for what is believed to be the next best thing - a view of the houses with a view. Meanwhile, those with the bucks, enjoy the panoramic scene from their bath tub.
Truth about street paving
For over two years now the final payment for the adoquien that surrounds the jardin has not been paid. Figuring the job as done and somewhat set in stone, the town fathers decided to hold back on the last payment and split it up amongst themselves. Constant notices demanding payment were ignored. Then, one day a while back, the jilted company came to town with a work crew and started removing the bricks. To say the least this did not go unnoticed by the welching party. What to do about it was now a real problem. As more and more bricks were removed and stacked for repossession, the pressure from the towns people was mounting and those in charge realized they had to do something fast, or face being tarred and feathered (again). It was reluctantly settled that each participant would have to give money back, and the rest would have to come from lifting it from other projects. (As per normal) The money was raised and paid and the repossession process was halted. Yet, not before half the bricks in question had been removed. Now faced with the expense of replacing the whole mess, the question became 'where does this money come from? The project has been finished but the money that was borrowed needs to be repaid. The town fathers have come up with an idea that hopefully will do the job. Be immortalized in the streets of La Manzanilla! For a minimum of 200 pesos you can sign your name in indelible ink on your own individual brick. Be remembered forever or as long as the street is kept clean.
Speed in lamanz.
With the mosquito spraying in full swing, the job of driving the spray truck at a snails pace around town became so boring the driver quit. His replacement it turns out is an ex-grand prix race driver who doesn't believe in slow. He has finished the circuit around town in record time maneuvering through the streets like he was on the course at Monte Carlo. Not only is this dangerous for anyone who gets in his path, i'ts not very effective in eradicating the mosquitoes either. At the speed he travels, the spray all ends up trailing behind the truck which makes the the middle of the street the only place in town free of mosquitoes . Block parties may be making a comeback.
Help!!!! Police
Well you get what you ask for. After months of beseeching, pleading, and whining for more police presence, they arrive. Despite the fact that the examples of corruption are too numerous to detail gringos are ecstatic that their plastic shit will now have added protection. Then, after a ridiculous amount of pointless (though money making) helmet and seat belt tickets are weilded out, the force (which isn't with us) turns to abusing the public. Numerous beatings on drunken folks have been reported. The hell with them though, thank god they are here protecting us. One unfortunate gal was recently "protected" by one of these members. On the main drag, the police members member was whipped out and her head was grabbed in an apparent attempt to get the two together. Is this the cost for protecting our plastic? My plastic is safer but my daughter might get assaulted and i may be beaten. Curious tradeoff.
No popularity contest winner
A beach side restaurant owner was recently accosted in her own restaurant and pelted with her own eggs. The restaurant was subsequently vandalized. The perpetrators are believed to be pissed off clients. But being that there is so many of them it was hard to determine who was actually behind the attack. Some possibilities may be the folks who ate and drank beneath her umbrellas on the beach and the were ripped new ass holes by her for trying to push their bicycles through the restaurant and onto the street. Another was a shoving match that evolved when she approached a client who was talking to friends and not very diplomatically told them that if they all didn't buy something they would all have to leave. These are only a couple of the many incidences that have marred peoples visit to the restaurant. When asked for a comment she said "Get out of my restaurant or i will kill you."
Fear and loathing during Semana Santa
Semana Santa is over for another season and the town is dead. No more vacationing Mexicans and no more gringos (yippee). Most gringos left before the start of the festivities with their tails firmly tucked between their legs, scared shit-less at what their paradise would be like full of Mexicans. They went north to their homes, where the weather in ,most locations is still crappy, and where they do not want to be so soon. But at least free of the hordes of rowdy Mexicans. Most have never experienced semana santa but believe all the horror stories. Which can be the case in big well known resorts, but not near as bad here. Still, just the mention of Semana Santa send them into a panic. Wait until next year when they will have to return north even earlier if Semana Santa arrives in March.
What did you miss to justify sitting st home, cold dark and miserable? Two weeks of vacationing Mexicans. Mostly all families having fun at the beach, which pretty much sums it up. The three days before Easter were crowded and there was a little more noise from the disco that was set up for the occasion. Yet nothing even remotely as crazy as the days of rodeo. The rest of the time there was barely more people here than those that come for a three day weekend. They were all on the beach with only hand-fulls venturing into the carnival in the jardin at night. The town, which now seems to have its shit together for this event, did a commendable job of keeping the garbage in check and the traffic flowing. With the bonus of no helmet/registration tickets. This cut way back on the amount of motor scooters and atvs terrorizing the streets. The only flaw, and you from the west coast know all about it, was the temperatures were chilly. Cool enough so that there was no bitching about how hot it was but plenty of bitching from the locals about how cold it was. The vacationers seemed unfazed and just had a good time. The only major result of the two weeks is that those gringos that stuck it out are now sporting nice tans. Usually, they stay out of the sun all season long (concerns about melting we guess) but because of the cold temperatures were forced to go out to stay warm.
dog doo orwell
'Mr. Jones, of Manor Farm,had locked the hen houses for the night, but was too drunk to remember to shut the popholes.'
Is Napoleon always right? After years of pathetic weaseliness the gangling mutt finally asserted itself. People were,quite frankly, stunned. (of course, they were probably half way there anyways.) The shockingly liberated beasts owner ( caretaker) is subsequently accosted by gringos who clearly have forgotten where they are. And quite possibly what they are. 'day and night we are watching over your welfare.' Like revolting peasants in some old Frankenstein movie, they charge up to her castle (casa) demanding the head of the poor beast. Claiming a knowledge of dogs via the tried and true science of anthropomorphism, they chant that it is a killer and must be chained or die. 'no animal shall kill any other animal' ' The only missing piece may have been burning torches. Although, no deaths have actually occurred, and the dog is merely doing its normal dog life as it should, 'and not for a pack of lying thieving human beings' a clamouring madness ensued. The said gringa was accosted by numerous confused idiotic gringos ....'Animal Hero, First Class.' with spectacularly skewed concepts of reality. Strangely, these actions are similar to ....um.............. a pack of dogs. Not satisfied with nut cutting, the doggy doo-gooders want blood. 'man is the only real enemy we have.' Normal mutt behaviour is frowned upon . "all animals are equal, but some are more equal than others" . There is chatter about a chain/leash and muzzle requirement from those in the fairy tale disneyworld where dogs act like people, and ..... people like dogs.
"...but already it was impossible to say which was which."
-it and the mutt are still here,what gives?????
-episode 24?
-would have loved to see that golf tourney, especially the cart race and the outstanding ending. Surprised the brownies didn;t kick in for EVERYONE playing and not just for the Melaqueites, as brownies appear to always be the favorite snack of choice around these parts. I think there should be a repeat performance next season for sure!
As far as the shitty smell that is in the approximate location of the croc lagoon--everyone knows that's just the smell of rotting coco's. At least that is the story told by natives to the area. Maybe everyone has underestimated the powers in charge of the La Manz sewer's. It is all about recycling right? Coco's. Caca. Similar exterior colors; similar exterior textures; both can be solid or fluid. The same shit and no one realizes it?
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaaaaa
last issues comments
-it and the mutt are still here,what gives?????
-episode 24?
-would have loved to see that golf tourney, especially the cart race and the outstanding ending. Surprised the brownies didn;t kick in for EVERYONE playing and not just for the Melaqueites, as brownies appear to always be the favorite snack of choice around these parts. I think there should be a repeat performance next season for sure!
As far as the shitty smell that is in the approximate location of the croc lagoon--everyone knows that's just the smell of rotting coco's. At least that is the story told by natives to the area. Maybe everyone has underestimated the powers in charge of the La Manz sewer's. It is all about recycling right? Coco's. Caca. Similar exterior colors; similar exterior textures; both can be solid or fluid. The same shit and no one realizes it?
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaaaaa
