gringos on display
Gringos gather at sunset for the enjoyment of the locals who walk by, point and laugh.
The line of scrimmage
During one of the football playoff games being shown at one of the local drinking establishments between what clearly were the chosen ones vs. the infidels, a modern witch burning took place. One sopped up patron later said ' we quietly clapped, a few yeas and it was all very proper. Then the infidels scored and one hideous witch got the fever and wildly went screaming about the place.' Most of the patrons were in shocked disbelief at this hooliganism and requested that the offending person get out!!! The goon resisted the offence and a heated debate ensued with the proprietor. The TV numbed patrons were of course annoyed, as the play by play was then hard to follow. A couple of gorilla patrons assisted the proprietor in tossing out 'the trash'. Finally they could get back to watching the game and being seen in their fan finery amongst their peers (who may live within a two hour flight of the city of one of the teams.) For many the knowledge of the game seemed to extend only to the colour of their teams' jerseys.
Dosequis man
The finest most interesting man in the world has lately been spending a few weeks in our midst. Not only is he (according to him) gods gift to women, but also men. Likely all humankind as well. So feel blessed if he, in his magnificence, decides to share a word or 800 with you ( in any of 8 languages.). Strangely, with all the self importance of so many here, he has not decided to 'personally' bless anyone yet, if you get our drift. Many feel that (!) is blessing enough.
Alices in wonderland
The poor fters are stumbling about in a swoon. One must almost feel pity for them and hold their hands and reassure them it's not a dream. 'So many colours and, and, and lights, and, and, and the market is like a carnival.' Restaurants sprouting out from what was once only dusty side roads. The food stuffs are literally dropping off the shelves and the variety is mind boggling to them. Suddenly they must rustle about for the tortillas or beans that previously were impossible to avoid. The stupefied look on their faces as they lift up pickles off the shelf accompanied by the stuttering, is a sight to behold. Fresh made bread has collapsed many a fter to their knees. The wines and exotic spirits addle their brain. (more so?) And just when they begin to accustom themselves, it will all sadly slip away. "Was it just a dream?" they will mutter to themselves in April.
Technical train wreck
A short time ago an inane video of toy trains was publicly displayed at a local watering hole. The event was both well attended and horribly presented. Excellent fertile ground for some foolishness. And we were not disappointed in that regard. The buffoons putting on the wreck showed up 5 minutes before show time and proceeded to set up. The simple plugging in of the video machine proved too much for these Luddites. They clearly had 'no clue' but fumbled about for half an hour, before the assembled started hurling abuse, threats, and a couple of beer bottles. Foolishly, many of the mob thought they knew better (who would have guessed?), and numerous attempts were made to get the god dam thing working!!! Amazingly a whole room full of gringo knowledge could not get the DVD player to work. Was it black magic, rocket science or some alien knowledge? None could solve it. 'And what was that little plastic thing with the buttons?' Clearly, help was needed, and a call was made for 'the expert'. He arrived in a glowing halo, and in 38 seconds had it hooked up to the TV on the other side of the establishment. Everyone simply moved their chairs around. The now late show proceeded without a hitch except for the odd shushing at people in the crowd. Odd since that part of the video was in German with subtitles. We know it's the year of the German , but everyone? Due to the films length many didn't make it to the end and left, or passed out at their tables.
Lamanz rodeo for various folks
Mexicans- a full week of fancy clothes, drinks (too many) dancing, and general partying. A grand time.
Pters-one day of fancy clothes, drinking (too much) dancing and general partying. Followed by 2 weeks of self congratulations. A grand time.
Fters- a full week of dingy clothes, drinking (always too much) sitting on chairs and general partying. Or they leave town for a week. A grand time.
Wizened oldsters
gringa1: I've been coming down here for 20 years.
gringo2: Oh yeah I've been coming down for 30 years.
gringa1: Well when I say 20 years I'm referring to the time with my second husband. if you count the first one it's over 40 years.
gringo2: Yeah well, it's only the last 30 years I've been coming here exactly. Before that i had been going down to Barra for at least 15 years.
gringa1: Actually I worked with Pancho Villa the first 10 years I came down.
gringo2: I recall on one of my first visits meeting Cortes.
gringa1: Oh yeah, I remember Teotihuacan when we came down the first time.
gringo2: Teotihuacan was my dad.
gringa1: Son!!!
gringo2: Teotihuacan was my dad.
gringa1: Son!!!
Wackipaediatricas
The new on line lamanzapaedia is for those needing to know or tell everyone about what is or isn't around this little berg. Not only the usual spelling and grammar corrections, but slants on all things Lamanz. what is art? Look no farther , there are numerous citings. you will be informed. (or dis). Where is the best food? (aka which restaurant sucks up to gringos the best?) Where do you find a hammer, or peace or love? Or satire? Well, there are literally thousands of citings all for the best or the fullest or whatever 'est' it is. Many entries are liberally supported by an army of lackey sheep folk, and or the narcissists that are so prevalent. What is this place and does one fit in? Well, no wondering anymore you will be told what is and what isn't.
Lamanz test. How do you fit in?
You see a sick dog quivering in an alley.
5- you walk by.
10- you speed off for a vet, help.
15- post a message when you get home.
20- turn around and go the other way.
25- something else.
You get food poisoning and
5- put up with it.
10- complain bitterly to the chef/restaurant owner.
15- post a nasty restaurant review.
20- whine loudly about it.
25- something else.
You watch the sunset and
5- crack open another one/make a toast.
10- bag up and leave.
15- ponder the universe.
20- share cherished moments with friends.
25- something else
Homeless one armed club footed gnome begs money off of you, you
5- scream and run.
10- ignore them.
15- freely toss over the peso.
20- tell them to "getta job!"
25- something else.
A huge half bag of strewn garbage is tossed in front of your house, you
5- fail to even recognise it.
10- clean it up.
15- scream rant and blame.
20- throw it in front of the neighbours place.
25- something else
"... the satirists concession-that of buying with a little amusement at yourself the privilege of laughing a great deal at others." John Steinbeck
We have been reprimanded on the local message bored by some of the high and mighty (or at least mighty high) for our little blog. They are so negative! They should just leave! (the old classic) Blind nay-sayers that see only the worst!! Sounds a bit negative to us, (and apparently we should know!) But, we have come to realise that so many of us -all- see the world in such narrow ways. At one time we thought about a little statement at the top of each blog entry about the concepts of humor. You know, something like - we point out our foibles in a humorous manner in order to help us all grow and become better people. It's a long standing literary tradition. At least in other parts of the world. As for the satiric bits it's interesting to note that in totalitarian regimes satire is strictly prohibited. One might well assume that those critics are pro-whatever we were going on about. Which for last issue would be: pro-bad grammar, pro-tax evasion, pro dumb ass message board comments (self evident) and pro-pompous, loud mouth, self-centred political correctness. And we guess, possibly anti boy scout camp fire songs. Apparently our work here is not done.
the sunsets view of La Manz
test scoring
test scoring
if you scored 0-40 -you are part of the local mosaic, be happy.
if you scored 45-80 - you are part of the local mosaic, be happy.
if you scored 85-120 - you are part of the local mosaic, be happy.
if you scored 125 - you are part of something else, be happy.
