No Parking: Jubilant crocs awaiting points.

crocs benefit from the hurricane (temporarily)

    Lately it has been noticed that LaManzs' crocodiles have developed a slimey film over their bodies. Coincidentally, this film started becoming apparent when the sewer started overflowing and emptying into the lagoon (again/still) . With the hurricane, the lagoon broke through to the ocean and thoroughly flushed itself out, leaving a mildly less polluted lagoon, as well as easy access to the sea for the crocs to frolic. Except for Pancho of course. (the Mumia Abu Jamal of crocs). Fortunately the film is slowly disappearing and they are looking healthier. But what's going to happen when the lagoon closes up, which could happen any day. The crocs will find themselves confined in what will soon become a dwindling body of water. Historically after this amount of rain the sewer could continue to flow for another month or more. Dumping more human waste shit into the lagoon for the crocs to live in until the next break through. Hopefully it won't be too late for them.

man collapses under the weight

A local resident who was heaped with praise for keeping his web site up and running during the recent hurricane collapsed under the weight of his swelled head. Apparently his skeletal frame could no longer support it.

no place to park

    Don't you just hate it when you are going to your favorite restaurant in town and you can't find a place to park? You have to park some good distance away and.....walk! If you wanted to walk you wouldn't have driven the 3 blocks from your house. Ever wonder why there is no parking? Look at your friends who live on the beach. They have taken advantage of the fact that there are no rules, or more probably, rules that no one enforces, and

have taken their entire street frontage as a driveway.

Out of community spirit some have left spaces, maybe, for a Vespa or 2.


comment on the universe

NASA scientists worry about possible global damage due to influx of gringos in Lamanz. Dr. Octavio Diebert of NASAs theoretical universe balance team has stated that it's quite possible that with the massive increase in the number of people thinking they are actually the center of the universe ('points' in NASA lingo) being located in Lamanz in the coming months the actual balance of the universe could be thrown out of whack. Dr Diebert stated "its not the number that's the problem per se, but the rapid increase in that relative number over a short period of time. Most cities, towns have a given number of 'points' depending on various socio-economic factors. Fortunately we believe it is balanced out by the sensible people in those urban centers. The possible problem in lamanz is related to the potential imbalance with the expected massive increase in these 'points'." Apparently the CIA have also been involved clandestinely by attempting to create an environment less friendly to the 'points'. Including haarp induced hurricanes, planned power outages and inoperative sewer systems as well as having operatives in local political power positions. An increase in beer prices was on the table but like chemo it kills everything so it's likely only going to be wine prices. The best thing to do (according to local health authorities) when confronted is to respond to the comment with a friendly 'its not about you' or some such similar tpe of phrase. So.... it's not about you.

point of view

Walking down the strip we ran into one of the famous points.

eye; Hey how are you?

point; Yeah, good yaknow i've been coming here for 20 years, I remember when it was a small town. I know everybody. ive been here for like 25 years and ive been everywhere. I know this place. How long have you been here?

eye: about 30 seconds (too long) now.

point: Shit(!), ive been here for 30 years, you dont know shit.

eye: Duh, how did your house fair through the storm?

point: Fine I got some mexicans cleaning it up but they are doing it wrong. They simply don't know how to do anything properly.

eye: Its cleaning, whats the science?

point: I've been dealing with mexicans for 35 years they cant do shit.

eye: Well that goes for most people but-

point: -Hey ive been coming down for 40 years, dont tell me. I know all about mexicans and how lazy and useless they are.

eye: I know some good mexicans...

point: Yeah who?

eye: Well Pedro is pretty dece-

point: Pedro is a useless tit! I've been coming down for 45 years and i've known him since he was a baby. Look away for a second and he'll rip you off.

eye: Well he-

point: I know mexicans, ive been coming down for 50 years and they are all thieves.

eye: okay then.I must say you look younger than your years.

point: Well it's having a good attitude that helps.

eye: Okay then, well i gotta go, see you around.

point: I'll be here, i've been coming here for 55 years ya know.

eye: Yes, and thank goodness you don't really exist for most of us.

point: Whatever, i've been here for.....

 Lost: rare gringo lawn ornament

have you see me?

     The world series trophy (sadly called the commisioners trophy) was stolen from {deleted by major league baseball} of the St. Louis Cardinals on his celebratory visit to lamanz with the trophy last week. Apparently he 'just went into the deposito to grab some beer', only to return to find the trophy missing from the back of the truck. Amazingly, the locals sitting on the street corner saw nothing. Despite numerous ball-capped guys in black humvees hanging about local scrap dealerships, in the hope that the thief will think its some kind of stupid gringo lawn ornament. Baseball officials are denying the theft altogether, saying only, and off the record, that {deleted by major league baseball} may have just 'missplaced ' the 30 lb silver torture device of a trophy. Baseball fans world wide are overjoyed at the 'loss' of the grotesque and stupid pile of junk that truly embarrasses all who see it. Said long time local baseball legend Dave "I'm proud to be in the now world famous town of Lamanz where that stupid dumb assed trophy finally was put to rest. I pray to the lord they come up with something better."