cant get enough
A charitable event became a food shovelling competition earlier this season. Hors d'oeuvres were brought out and it was like a farmer calling suey to bring his pigs to the trough. People shoved pushed and clawed their way for space at the table, so that they could inhale the tasty morsels. From serving dish to mouth with lightening quickness and the second hand coming up just as fast to make sure the mouth never emptied. Folks looked like chipmunks with their cheeks stuffed. this display of gluttony is almost unrivaled by starving people in Africa when the relief truck drops off a bag of rice. Despite the dress and appearance of non chalant affluence it was obvious these people were hell bent on getting their entree fees worth.
who would have thunk it?
better than thou
LaManz makes dictionary
In this all encompassing world of the Internet, there must be folks who do nothing other than monitor everything on it. This must be the case for the people who compile the complete dictionary of the English language. this is because the newest word to be entered into their dictionary made its world wide debut on Lamanz's infamous message board. Apparently they were so impressed by this new word they contacted its inventor for a definition. The word and definition were readily accepted and will be included in their 2013 edition. Thus the word 'dildonic' is part of the English language.
its so hot
The newly arrived and not so newly arrived folks are bitching about how hot it is. It seems pretty ironic that they come all the way from the frozen north to get away from the cold only to complain about the heat. They should have studied a bit of geography before leaving to realize that Lamanz is in the tropics. And by definition the tropics is the 'hot' zone between the tropics of Cancer and Capricorn. (approximately 23dsegrees north and south of the equator) The words hot zone should be a complete give away as to why it is hot here at 19 degrees north latitude.
Thar she blows
fortunate for many who missed the Los Ingenios rodeo a couple weeks back. as the list of injured is still to be determined. most wont even be counted as they utilize a denial defence. we have heard of three caballeros who are still suffering blindness. the medical authorities say its a mental issue as they are all physically okay. As far as can be determined that is the extreme end although there are still many missing, and the true extent of the damage may never be known. one witness said he was just going down to the creek when he saw it. "it was horrifying and big and white like the moon." We asked for more details but the witness ran screaming down the street.Further investigation led to stories about the outlandish behavior of some gringa, drunk and unaware that the creek was not a bathroom nor does it have doors
sliding mud cont.
scene 3 continued. Annabelle and Wilma continue to bitch away. Buck enters the restaurant and joins them at their table.
Buck- Good morning ladies and how are you this fine morning?
Annabelle- Whats with you, get a new squeeze?
Buck- That I did. The woman who bought the place below Gary and Denise's. I went over to see if she needed any help getting her place straightened up. It turned out she is one horny bitch and wants me for the season. That's her shiny new SUV over there, which is mine whenever I want it. This is going to be one good gig. I should be moving in by next week.
Wilma- Jesus Christ, Buck, she must be 70. You sure aren't too particular about how you get by
Buck- Shes only 67, and you know how these older women like to have some young stud on their arms, escorting them around. Besides the benefits are great.
Annabelle- You might just have an overinflated opinion of yourself, young stud indeed.
Buck- Well I'm a lot younger than the bulk of this geriatric bunch. Anyways I got to go, just out to get some coffee.
Meanwhile, back at the bar Carlos enters.
Elmore- Where the fuck have you been? You've got thirsty fucking customers here, fuck.
Carlos- Sorry guys, I had some things to do. What can I get you?
Elmore- You know damn fucking well what we want. Beer!, and fucking now. Now that fucking fat Bob is back why don't you give him a fucking key, he's here every fucking morning.
Carlos- I tried that last year. He doesn't pay for his drinks. He practically busted me , you realize how much that guy drinks?
Fat Bob- And why shouldn't I? I was doing your job.opening the place up, serving beer. I should be compensated. You get paid don't you?
Carlos- Yeah, but you really only served them to yourself.
Elmore- What's the fucking difference? He still fucking sells them.
Carlos- melchinga que dito. Hey Bob, That was some performance that Two put on last night wasn't it?
Bob- Oh Christ. I don't think I ever met a drunk as nasty and mean as she gets. She cussed us all out because no one would give her a ride home. When it was pointed out that none of us had a car, she cussed us out for that. I don't know how she got home but she was adamant she wasn't going to walk.
Elmore- How fucking come all you fuckers call her Two?
Bob- Elmore if you weren't so wasted all the time you would know.
Carlos- It's because her name is Annabelle and we already have an Annabelle so we called her Annabelle two which later became just Two.
Elmore- Oh that's right I fucking remember now.
Returning to the restaurant
Buck leaves and passes Louise on his way out. Louise heads for Wilma and Annabelle's table.
Wilma- Louise, its good to see you. When did you get back? Come sit down grab some coffee and tell us how your summer was.
Louise-My summer was fantastic. That cultivating of medical marijuana has turned out to be profitable and rewarding.i just wished i could have brought some down with me. In fact I haven't been able to locate my regular source, Do you know where i can get some?
Wilma- I can spare you a couple of joints but the stuff is pretty scarce right now.
Annabelle- You might try Carlo's down at the bar. He always seems to be able to come up with whatever you may want.
Louis- Good idea, thanks, and can I get those joints just to get me by until I score.
unsolicited stuff
be nice he tried to tell them, be cool, be smooth. be kind he came to sell them,
but they weren't buyin' any of that kind of shit, so they spanked him some and stuck him up on a stick
a jesuscicle - paleta de jesus - Bob Marley put jah in his pipe and played and prayed for peace,
softly, strongly, long lovingly and hardly, so they made him sick, Lennon laughed and smoked and spouted,
all you need is love he spoke, love - he said, love is all you need - he shouted, so they punched a ticket to ride
to heaven straight in his chest, well they cant keep killing all the Kennedy's and I'll stand with whoevers left
it's times like these when hell starts to freeze, we'll all soon be taken to the test, i say love rules,
love conquers all,
love conquers all,
i so seriously suggest, i say it from the hearts of the highlands of Scotland, and the shores of old Mexico, it's time to awake
to that which has long laid lost forgotten-love is the opening door-love is what we came here for
princes and lords are but the breath of kings - an honest man's the noblest work of god -
and I'll leave you all with one more small refrain
we've said it before, we'll say it again-if not us,who? If not now - when? will we love each other like there's no tomorrow
can we love each other like there's no tomorrow
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