gulag telesecundaria
around town
New stairs at local watering hole went up amazingly in only 3 days, resulting in only one injury and a mere 3 days of inconvenience for anyone wanting to patronize the place. Thirsty customers loyal to the bar, or more likely, loyal to the sporting events on the TV, scaled a rickety ladder in order to enter and leave. Fortunately no clientelle injuries occured.
Just down the street at another watering hole, a talent show was held drawing in an overflow crowd of entertainment starved patrons. During the show a group came in wanting to eat dinner only to find 'no room at the inn.' They were told by a surly bartender that if they wanted to eat they would have to bring their own table. A few minutes later the group was back lugging in a table and they were then served dinner.
A meeting was held in the jardin concerning security in Lamanz. The president of la Huerta was there, giving the regular lip service and fielding complaints from a mixed crowd of locals and gringos. Security was tight for the event with rifle toting cops circling the jardin, and 2 patrol vehicles circulating the streets around it. The main concern (security wise) was the lack of a permanent police presence and a local telephone to call them. Further issues took up the remainder of the docket, most having nothing to do with security. When all was said and done, the president promised to look into getting a telephone 'as soon as possible'. But, he said due to personel problems in the police department he probably would be unable to supply anyone to answer it. The two dogs humping in front pretty well summed it all up.
Several new sewer hookups have been made along the main street. It is apparent that when the system has the appearance of functioning properly, it is then time to hook up.... Don't take in too many deep breaths when passing the pump station!
Big news, Saturday last.... Robbery! Earthquake! All in one day!!!
3 armed robbers stole the payroll for a local construction crew. As the 3 bandits fled, the construction crew posse'd up and took off after them. Dodging bullets, they caught up to one bandit with the money, when his six shooter ran out of bullets... They proceeded then to beat him to a pulp. The other 2 escaped.
The earthquake happened about 2 pm. You had to have been alert or you might have missed it.
2 peoples paradise
The sun rose majestically over the mountains, greeting us to yet another beautiful day in Lamanz.
Fuckin' hangover again as I struggle to find a cool dark place to hide.
A leisurely breakfast while listening to the local fauna speak of the glory of the new day.
I puke up the remnants of (what i assume to be) pizza, while cursing the yapping of the neighbors dogs and crowing of the damn roosters.
A casual stroll to the beach to watch the delightfully innocent playing of the children.
Stumble down for a six pack to ease the pain while warding off the hordes of begging brats.
After a casual swim and a relaxing read, we stroll along the streets greeting the pulchritudinous people and sharing our dreams and hopes with one another.
Pissed my pants on the way home but managed to tell that fuckin' neighbor to shut his fuckin' dogs up before I kill them.
A few magnificent moments spent in the garden tending to the spectacular flowers and abundant fruits and vegetables.
The heat gets to me and I collapse into a pile of dog shit on the side of the road.
After a fullfilling siesta a delectable meal is prepared and lovingly served.
A couple hours later i wake up, with dog shit in my mouth, and my beer stolen. I wolf down some greasy pig meat.
Another stroll to the tranquil beach to watch, yet, another glorious sunset.
Since I can barely stand, I drive to the store for more booze and head back to my dingy hole.
A couple of delectable drinks after dinner with friends, we stroll back home in the cool enchanted evening
Piss drunk by 7, but well stocked with tequila and chips, I realize how god damned cold it is.
make heavenly love to my soul mate by moonlight, and drift off into a blissful sleep.
Fuck, then shoot, the neighbors dog and pass out on the bathroom floor.
another great day in paradise.
another great day in paradise.
part-timers / tourists
baseball
last issue comments
OKAY A LATE BREAKER The boys of summer are out in force. and so are the girls. All ages and skill levels battling with universal issues of philosophy brought forth by the game of baseball. Sure, they are overtly doing what we think is good -exercise, team work, respect, picking up after yourself and others, sacrifice, and we guess even the troublesome 'keeping out of trouble' idea, to name a few. Yet what is really important i think is the potential grasping of the mountain of bigger meaning that baseball has to offer . baseball is 'the good way' and the lessons learned and perspectives gained will far outweigh any other benefit derived. it's alive right now down at the soccer field on fridays and we hope that it continues the way it should; timeless and forever. lessons learned and memories created to serve a lifetime. its beautiful. hopefully we gringos wont fuck it up too bad.
hello, i've read and reviewed several issues of "the eye" on line. i would like to add a few comments. years ago, i surfed the pacific coast of mexico,and found my self spending time in la manzanilla. then a quiet fishing village with enormous positve energy. over a period of time i and others noticed a change. i built and sold a modest home, moved south but have since visited la manzanilla twice. with a background in psychology, i see a pattern of rejection and blame shifting projected by the author/authors of "the eye". your articles leave one with an empty, shallow and negative feelings. i, for one, would have to nominate the author/authors as "the most pathetic person/s" of this year or any year.....thank you
damm it youre right but we cant win EVERY year. it just wouldn't be fair. we would propose its you (not the one) with the empty shallow and negative feelings. are you the pot calling us black or do you feel like its your type we are lampooning? either way keep up with the rejection, blame shifting,surfing and the ever popular building and selling. without that type it just wouldnt be as much fun.
You forgot to add the comparison of the surly year-rounder to your "part-timers / tourists" segment. You know, the ones who "hate all the above and g.damn proud of it, and why the hell are you in my town anyway?"
ReplyDeleteYou know, the ones with the mentality that "I was here first, you come here with your idealistic dreams (just like I did many years ago), try to change the world (I found out I couldn't so I drank instead) and then complain (just like me, but I'm entitled because I live here)".
I am VERY disappointed you failed to be non-partisan and give us the complete picture as a whole. Instead you opted out of reality and chose the cowards way out--very similar to bigotry in my book.
Go figure.
expats / part-timers we had it but were saving it for next time. but since you asked... so politely.
ReplyDeleteexpats never leave so they never really 'arrive'. part-timers arrive and never seem to leave. the part-timer renews old friendships. the expat welcomes the part-timer like a band of travelling gypsies . the discoveries of the inspections of the part-timer are explained away by the expat as happening months ago and now of little to no importance. the part-timer arrives with new plastic shit, the expat drools over the toys like the poor neighbor kid. whereas the part-timer cant see the beach for the rocks, the expat never goes to the beach. the part-timer arrives like an invading army, the expat acts like the slaughtered natives. the part-timer has their set businesses they patronize, the expat is effectively stunned at the number of places to go suddenly. the part-timer uses your name , the expat can barely remember theirs never mind yours. the part-timers travel and shop, the ex-pat gets paranoid about going to melaque. the part-timers chat of world events, the ex-pat is muted in their snow globe world. the part-timer sees the tourist as a younger cuter version of them, the ex-pat sees the tourist as a distant memory of an earlier more productive time. (as well as good for the local economy) the part-timer can be recognized by their latest dress, the ex-pat by the garbage clothes they gathered up after the last exodus.as the part-timer meets and greets, the ex-pat acts like a deer in the headlights. as the part-timer claims a poor year economically, the ex-pat supportivelty laments the reality in an effort to gain a free beer. as the part-timer prepares to leave the ex-pat tries to weasel some of that magic northern plastic out of them.
next issue some other comparison. relax its all in good fun. as for non partisan.... never claimed it.
RESPONSE TO REPLY:
ReplyDeleteokay, so now everyone gets bashed equally--that's more like it. I'll take back the last sentence as that was added for dramatic flair, just like what you always add to your stories (it's all in good fun, right?!).
Oh, and if you don't claim non-partisan, then everything you write is solely your perception and opinion and we should take NOTHING at face value? If that is the case, then add a little more levity in your stories instead of sour grapes. I think you would garnish a much larger readership if you did.
But that is MY opinion--and my perception.
calling us bigots is dramatic flair? if you think so. and yes, you should not take anything at face value. we have clearly stated that it is all our opinion. and we dont need advice on what to write or not. we are not asking. and opting out of reality. what does that even mean? as for you being DISAPPOINTED, we are not asking for your approval. your rather pompous opinion and perception dont mean anything to us. if you dont like it dont read it.
Deletereally like this edition much better than all the others. It was actually funny, the comparisons were right on!!!! Previous ones were getting a little to sordid. Sorry
ReplyDelete