First aid for sewer... a large band aid has been gently wrapped on one of the sewer lines broken by Jova. When asked why it wasn't fixed properly the response was duct tape is too expensive.
The most pathetic character of the year!!!
Flakes, missfits, and all around general fuckups seem to be attracted to the Costa Allegre in unusually high proportions. Statistitions are baffled. Lamanz, although not as bad as some neighboring towns, certainly has its share. So, with that in mind, it's time to decide. Who was the most pathetic character of the last year? The votes are all in for this years grand champion (el gran perdedor). There were essentially 4 in the race, of which 2 have already been reported on. The wild woman of lamanz and her clap on clap off boyfriend. Many folks figured this was a shoe in, but no, only a pathetic second place. (or top loser as we like to say.) For those that were personally affected nobody will outdo the circe, but alas, a mere 3rd position. A late charge came from some canadian television addict nut bar amateur loser, but in the end he was just too amateuristic in delivery to compete with the professionals. So, with a tear in our eye and a flip of the coin we present {drum roll} the most pathetic character of the year.......
#%+!
#%+! and the return trip to some northern wasteland has, not surprisingly, earned him the title of "pathetic character of the year". The reasons for this return trip seem somewhat flawed, but it's all #%+! could come up with at the time. When your day was spent looking for a drink in order to stay drunk and delusional because you had painted yourself into a corner ,well... #%+! thought he needed to go back to some city up north to get a job, as well as to get a hold of what ever cash the gravy train might have left. At 50 years old, (looking 60) ten years not working and out of the country, DT's so bad if he doesn't get a 6 pack into him 1st thing he can't hold a hand steady enough to type on a computer. Add to that, no drivers license, and no car or place to stay when there. #%+! is going to find that jobs, not to mention the economy, is in a flux and there are no jobs, and it's one of the most expensive places to live. (especially for someone who consumes a case of beer a day and 4 packs of smokes.)
The ex here paid for a plane ticket . (I assume it was worth it to see that #%+! is going far away). Well, he didn't go, claiming to have no place to stay when he got there. So #%+! stayed here, quickly running out of money and living on credit and sympathy. He was finally able to talk some ex-employer into sending him some money, which of course he went through like beer (or as beer), and still, was no closer to shitting or getting off the pot.
#%+! still couldn't find a place to stay there, or anyone that might take that sorry ass in up there. (it's easy to believe #%+! burned all those bridges long ago). So he carried on drinking, in an establishment that was constantly bad mouthed, (ironically the only one to extend credit) and bitching about how stupid all the people he hung around with are. The irony was so thick you could be smothered by it. Finally #%+! was poured into a PV bound bus. Present where abouts unknown although the rumor is #%+! is in Canada. Don't worry you Canadians out there, it's apparently Toronto. He should actually fit in pretty easily.
When finally reached about his award #%+! said 'fuck you all.' A truly heart warming moment. So that's it for 2011, now it's not too early to get a head start on 2012. So get out there and behave pathetically, we know you have it in you.
its ................................... mexico
"its mexico we can do what we want"..... this seems to be the attitude of all too many gringos (to get the record straight, we consider all non hispanic foreigners gringos, canadians no exception) So, from time to time we will be reporting choice examples of this type of attitude.
A gringo camping on the beach is doing so with his private attack pack of dogs. These marauding mutts bark and chase and snap after anyone who passes their (sic) stretch of beach, especially if they too have a dog. Recently when another angry gringo threw rocks at them, to protect his cowering leashed dogs, he was subsequently accosted and threatened by their keeper, armed with a shovel. Fortunately the shovel wielder backed down when the dog protector stood up to him. Although no physical altercation ensued, many angry words were passed (such as you peepee head). The keeper claiming that "its mexico and....." he is free to let his possibly murderous attack dogs run the beach untethered, not caring a whit that they were threatening and scaring the shit out of anyone who passed.
It's all in the view!!
A hundred years ago when the cities of western North America were expanding their residential neighborhoods, many were plagued with hills and ridges. Streets were layed out nonetheless in grid pattern and houses were built. As was the style back then living and dining rooms faced the street, and kitchens, baths, and bedrooms faced the back. Depending on what side of the street you lived on made the difference whether you viewed from your living room or your bathroom, what was quite often a drop dead gorgeous view...... and to the people living there at the time... they couldn't have given a shit.
Now, if there is no view, it ain't worth squat! Ten or so years ago people came to La Manz and went absolutely ga-ga over the view.... They built mansions on the hills, each trying to outdo their neighbors view. And really, a view of what: the basically unchanging ocean and shore line, and outside of an occassional good sunset or even more rare, a ship going by, it might as well be a mural.
Now, it seems that all these folks, soaking up their cocktails and staring at their now boring view, have come to the realization that the price of their view is a house sitting on an unstable hillside in a town that in their eyes is becoming a shit hole. (Strangely unaware that they are in fact the cause.) Even the friendly folks they met when they first arrived have turned out to be complete jerks.
Whats the answer.Well... get the hell out! Sell the house for double what you have into it and pass it on to the next chump who can't live without a view. But guess what, except for the odd case you were the last of the chumps, so enjoy the view.
whats happening with the zoo???
We know the zoo goes on and the inhabitants are getting well oiled as the season kicks in. But the zoo keeper has been unheard from. as our intrepid zoo keeper been swallowed up by the madness and forgot the contract to keep us informed. How can we relate the facts of this important, no vibrant, no ridiculous bunch to our anxious reader who need to know 'the truth' about what is happening in the community. We hope our star reporter hasn't been caught up in the frenzy, not to be heard from again. Zoo keeper please call in.
Applications for zoo keeper position via email.
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