Ambulance dogs and shit houses

Stupid gringa donates new ambulance to La Manzanilla.

 She ordered it on-line and arranged to ship it down. What arrived was a used Zamboni. When questioned as to why she bought a Zamboni, she replied "I thought that was canadian for ambulance. The response time to Manzanillo will remain unaffected. The correct canadian word for ambulance is ecnalubma. Or so we have been told. But can you ever really trust those canuck types?

Esquimo Pye and the orphan dog: episode 16

Pye 'saved' the orphan dog from a life on the streets here, and flew it up to some cold state. After a weekend of debauchery at the animal shelter, the Pye flew back to Lamanz, in order to 'save' the saved dog. Saved (presumably) from the potential future of being some fat assed lap dog sitting on the fat lap of some fat assed ass. After yet another bacchanalian weekend, the great drunken chicken dog guide spirit thing appeared to her(again). On the bathroom floor next to her face it whispered into her ear "The orphan dog must live in a restaurant. Hey, its Mexico." The Pye of course found some poor sap to take care of it while she went to Melaque or so went the story. She was last seen with plastic bags in her hands and a plane ticket in her teeth as she fled the town (But not in a hail of arrows, bullets and empty tequila bottles as one would expect.). As of this writing, the orphan dog has joined a dog street gang in Los Ingenios surrounded by a pack of  other 'saved' dogs, we suppose.
  

House review of the month

This four year old charmer, was originally built as a spec house by one of La Manzinilla's "notorious three" builder/architects. In the case of this one, it looks like the architect was desperate to come up with something different, so he threw away his straight edge and slopped together a bunch of circles, coming up with something far more pleasing to the eye, with numerous totally useless spaces inside. Located at the side of the arroyo it sits on the side of a hill with a view of the arroyo; come summer time it could easily be water front property. From the road below, the house is accessed by a winding, undermined, hand- rail less stair way, that climbs up the steep grade that is the yard. The drive way off the road is big enough to park one vehicle and can easily be accessed by a high clearance 4x4. A 6' high mesh fence surrounds the property detracting even more the visual appearance of the place while being a joke as far as security goes as is usual here in La Manz. The asking price is astronomical and the place wouldn't be a good value at half that. But we rest assured it will sell if only because of the price. An aspect of the multi faceted dumbness of gringos.  

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The La Manzanilla Alternative School to Yoga and Painting.

-Horseshoe lessons: Meets on the beach 3 times a week with pros instructing how to pitch a ringer every time. Libations available.

-Cuss & Slang Spanish: Learn the local slang and swear words and when and how to use them.... soon everyone will think you know spanish as this is about all that is spoken here. Taught orally by locals whom can neither read nor write.

-Learn bridge the complicated way by La Manz. own self proclaimed bridge master

-Ego tour: Personally created for each group. Discover new and diverse ways to expand your 1st world superiority. Unlimited options. We have a french version as well at 40% off.

-House sitting lessons & how to fudge those references. Further info at the Smugness Center.