New cobblestone pathway along the lamanz beach
four legs....watch out!!
A gala event that some gringos call "the party of the season" (and if you count the sheer numbers of them in attendance this may be true) was held last week. The purpose was to be seen amongst your peers doing your civic duty and participating in the community by the giving of your money so that a bunch of nut clippers can be brought to town. It's a generous project to teach the locals how to keep the dog and cat population down but it's real questionable about how much the locals appreciate the gringos trying to educate them in gringo ways. It also makes its sponsor look like caring responsible and important(!) people, to be looked up to by the lesser gringos for their altruism.
Some locals take advantage of the free neutering service. Many more are coerced into bringing their pets in, and the majority want nothing to do with it. After all, this is mexico, and the problem of an overpopulation of dogs and cats can be handled the mexican way... take them out and shoot them. Many of the gringos that take advantage of this service haul their pets great distances so they can get them fixed "for free". The problem is there are not enough animals being brought in to to keep the mad expensive team of cutters busy. The answer, lets go get them
Hapless volunteers are armed with traps (they have to supply their own bait) and sent forth with orders to fill them up. Unfortunately some of these eager volunteers don't know the difference between a dog and a iguanna leading to all manner of fauna being brought in. Neighbors pets are always attracted to these cages which subjects them to anesthetising and clipping before they are ruled 'already done' and sent back home in their drugged up state. The real gung-ho volunteers become part of the round up team - their mission: patrol the town and bring in anything with 4 legs. One year there was one fat old clown chasing after bewildered mutts donned with a cowboy hat and lasso. Another time, when one poor drunk was crawling home only to come to later surrounded by howling dogs laying in their own piss. Yes, it will soon be that time again, so if you don't want to become a victim, stay sober enough so you can still negotiate on 2 feet and keep your dogs and cats locked up inside.
safe vacation spot discovered
Man is killed in nearby town. Gringos freak out like its never happened before. Hopefully many more will jump on the band wagon of those promising to never return. After extensive research we have found out that the moon is the only place where no murders have yet to be recorded. Book your flights now.
thefts
A suspect in the recent rash of burglaries and thefts was apprehended last week by visiting police. Despite being caught with 3 lap tops and some various jewelry he was released after some victim tourists insisted that since he was white he couldnt be the one, and had probably found the items as he claimed.
warning! get out now
Canada (or insert any bloody country) has recorded its 5th murder in the last week. All Canadian victims. It's truly insane that any Canadian would stay there or even visit the place. It's unfortunately a lawless failed state that needs to be placed on travel advisories.
House review of the month
This months house is one of a family of simular structures all perched on the edge of a cliff. The view from the balcony is definately enough to bring on a nose bleed. Makes you wonder what's holding it in position. Don't even wonder, sound structure was not even a consideration when this baby was built. In fact a whole new concept was employed in its construction; start on the top and work your way down. And down is not where you want to examine too closely. Those gaps between building and gravel aren't suppose to be there. Built solely for the view, the inside of the building is totally unremarkable, And how about those open windows with no glass or screens, not to mention the aging palapa roof. The asking price is totally commensurate with the view, and so maybe the action ride down the cliff if there is enough rain and or an earthquake.
silly gringo games
No, not the mind games. In sporting news, 14 teams participated in the 2nd horshoe match of the season. Food and fun and other giggly-happy stuff was consumed by most and (except for those who thought they were going to win and didn't), all had a good time. One of the losers proclaimed that he would never play again (to loud applause) after being eliminated by a girl(!). Another had an issue with the fact that the gathering was 90% gringo and the top honors went to a mexican. The smart people went 0-2 and sat, ate, drank, watched, and bull-shitted.
last issue comments
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